Challenging times: Senior Citizen care.
29 Sep 2010 7 Comments
Although the idea may sound quaint to some, having a senior citizen in your home is something unavoidable. Yes, it is burdensome. Yes, it is meaning frayed nerves. Yes, it means sacrificing your privacy. Yes, you should not expect any pay-back from your elderly parents…this is their time in the sun.
From the outset,let me explain, that there is no one who will understand the problems faced by the family when an elderly person is a permanent resident, unless he/she too is in a similar position. Elders grow even older, and with increasing age comes unexpected blows, in the form of health issues, visits to doctors, and mounting medical bills. Realize that no one from the extended family or even the closer family members will be there to pitch in. It’s a fact of life….no one wants to INVITE trouble!
Most articles on Senior Citizen care lay stress on the fact that it is an honourable task that you have undertaken, to look after an old person. Few go on to explain what measures you can take to avoid those inevitable moments of depression, craziness, and having the blues, whilst you’re at the job.
Being a seasoned caretaker of a permanent live-in elderly in-law for the past two decades, I can only say this: forget your Ego, forget your happiness. Look at the long term benefits only. Do you really want to ignore an old person’s problems by staying away and pretending to have fun? In that case, you are only playing with fire. Wandering away from your duties will inadvertently harm you. Your house may be robbed. The elderly, with their lack of presence of mind, may either leave the house premises, and roam unattended, or leave the gas or geyser on, leading to gravely dangerous situations.
Be kind to the elderly, even though it may raise your hackles at times. Remember, their insensitivity and memory losses are something beyond their understanding or intention. Sometimes, the elderly get violent…handle the situation appropriately. Nowadays there are n number of forums, support groups etc who cater to specific problems involved in caring for the elderly.
Here are some pointers to follow at home, in the event of having an elderly person to take care of. 1. Do keep your house well-ventilated, clean and dust-free. 2. Try keeping the bathrooms of the elderly clean and DRY, to avoid cases of slipping. 3. Provide ample reading material and interesting things to do, customized to suit the inidividual. 4. Music is a great mood elevator; keep music of their generation easily accessible, with simple to operate music systems. 5. Constant reminders are needed for the elderly; sometimes they react negatively to such instructions. Be prepared to face bouts of anger. 6. Keep a doctor’s number, an ambulance number handy. 7. Inform all the people living around your house about the elderly relative you are looking after. This will help avoid situations in which you will feel flustered. 8. Keep all medicines out of their reach, and administer medicine in your presence. 9. Employ a part-time help at home in cases where you feel helpless. 10. Try to involve them in family outings and fun.
It finally does not matter whether the senior citizen you are looking after happens to be an in-law or your own parent. In both cases, remember you are dealing with ageing problems, and this is not an easy task. It calls for a lot of patience on your part. And when I say Patience, I mean patience! Try not to shout and express your feelings of disgust, anger, and rage: even though these might feelings may be uppermost on your mind.
Balance your own life out by reading, meditation, having friends over, or going out for a break. Lastly, always boost yourself up by reminding yourself that the present situation could have been worse!
Sep 29, 2010 @ 17:54:02
This is a trial comment by the author. Please ignore.
Thanks, Ruma.
Sep 29, 2010 @ 18:02:27
Feeling an integral part of the family and having some responsibilities (provided they’re fit) can keep them best engaged I guess. Proper medical insurance coverage when available can make a big difference.
Sep 29, 2010 @ 18:22:47
Yes Vijay, you have mentioned a very pertinent fact that I forgot to include in the article: the medi insurance and financial support systems. Thanks again.
Sep 29, 2010 @ 20:30:19
Hey Rumadi,
Good points to keep in mind. Another thing that caregivers often forget — don’t forget that you are human too and need time to de-stress. Make the most of local support groups if available – or online ones for good tips. And whenever possible, ask for help from your partner/spouse/close relative – so that you can escape for an hour or two to get away… after all, if you are under a lot of pressure constantly, you will not be able to do your best at all times! Make yourself a priority too sometimes.
Take care. And good luck… I totally understand your situation.
Love n hugs,
Mimi
Sep 30, 2010 @ 19:53:48
Good pointers, Di… it’s very easy to give a blind eye to their problems and needs… but we shouldn’t forget that we’d be in the same position some day and wonder why no one understands what we need!
Sep 30, 2010 @ 23:02:20
http://rwc1951.wordpress.com/ Reckon they want to keep people too busy to complain about poilticians.
Oct 01, 2010 @ 12:54:08
When ur in that position u know where ur talking about. And having children u live with 3 generations in one place with the attitude of the ages.
Simple Music or tv…and dont mention the daily routines. i wish every one who is in that position a lot of strenght and give urself a time out.
Be well Ruma
MJ